•Write one blog post in January

^^^this was on my to-do list for this month & I’m choosing to view the fact that it is indeed the very last day of the month wherein I can accomplish this goal as a victory of completion instead of as a buzzer-beating, nail-biter of an ending to this the first month of the year 2023. Because optimism & glasses with some liquid in them & all that.

As I was stressing over pondering what I should post about in this definitely-not-inaugural-but-somehow-novel blog post, I came up with a little structure that will serve as a guide for now. I might ditch it later BECAUSE I AM IN CHARGE OF THIS BLOG, but it’s cute for now, so here goes:

• What I’m Reading
• What I’m Seeing
• What My Kids Are Saying
• What’s Been Freeing

I know, guys. It’s, like, really something special. I’m impressed too.

Without further ado…

•What I’m Reading

Last year I read 54 books. I realize the heading of this section is NOT How Many Books I Read Last Year, however that information is relevant as I explain what I’m currently reading. I read a LOT last year with probably over half consumed as audiobooks. I read some winners & some losers & overall had a great time (you can follow my reading life over at my Goodreads profile). This could be categorized as a win through & through, but as I reflected at the end of the year I came to a hard conclusion: I read (& listened to) that many books as a way to escape a rough year. So, I’ve decided to read (& listen) less this year with a goal of 0 audiobooks (!!!) & 12 books each for fiction & non-fiction.

• That being said, my Ansbach Book Club of almost four years, will continue to hold priority as we choose a (typically fictional) book each month. This month’s read is Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset (which we will probably discuss over two month’s meetings because SHE LONG).
• In February, I am planning to Buddy Read A Gentleman in Moscow with my sister, Hannah—whose book blog is a phenomenal resource if you need inspiration.
• This is my year to read the Anne of Green Gables series. I enjoy rotating this in every few years & it’s been three years since the last read-through. Already almost through the first installment & I’m delighted to be an Avonlea resident again.
• I am aiming for some soul-lifting non-fiction this year, starting off with none other than my beloved Sally & Sarah Clarkson’s The Life-Giving Home & Ann Voskamp’s Waymaker (a birthday gift from my sister, Sarah Ann). Already feeling joyful & held with these lovely women’s words echoing through my mind & heart.

•What I’m Seeing

This is an artful catchall for any photos I have to share or travel updates. Recently, Oakie & I had the immense joy of spending a weekend away while some dear friends watched our children. We galavanted off to Baden-Baden, a historically famous spa town in western Germany situated right on the French border. We luxuriated in a centuries-old Roman Irish Bath experience, got couples massages & ate lots of delicious (& quiet) meals. It was delight itself.

BTW, how we managed to spend an entire weekend alone & fail to take ONE SINGLE PHOTO OF THE TWO OF US is a burden I will attempt to carry with grace for the rest of my life. Thank you for your thoughts & prayers in this trying time.

•What My Kids Are Saying

Ahhh the section where I share the conversations I overhear, the funny phrases of childhood & what I think, personally, is objective hilarity out of the mouths of babes. For context, these are pulled from family group chats & I’m leaving the tone & heavy emoji use unedited. Welcome to the family 😉

Cinco: I want a snack, Mama.
Me: Ok, you can have pistachios or a clementine.
Cinco: I don’t want those. Wow, mom. You just want me to starve.

Oakie gets Jack dressed in his sweatshirt that matches Cinco’s:
Jack: Matching! Cacki! (What he calls Cinco)
Me: Oh yeah, you’re matching Cinco?
Jack: (mad face) No! Cacki matching me!

Cinco & Skye bickering while they clean up their room:
Cinco: Skye, you’re not cleaning up!
Skye: Cinco, you don’t know me!

Made homemade hot cocoa & Jack called it ‘Christmas tea’. 😂😍

Sore from my workout, so I sat down gingerly:
Jack: Awww, mama stinky?

After Cinco got in trouble earlier, he said, “Mom, is this ok? I don’t like you, but I love you.” I was like, 🤷🏽‍♀️ relatable.

Welp, I’m pretty much sure I’ve traumatized my children. We watched the 2000 Disney movie Dinosaur (I remember seeing it in theatres) & it’s about an orphaned dino joining with a lemur family who also loses it whole colony after a meteor hits their island.
The next day I walk downstairs hearing the kids talking & quietly crying, but before I can ask what’s wrong I hear them talking about their favorite dinosaur family members they will NEVER SEE AGAIN & THEY ARE CRYING REAL TEARS. Just sitting on the couch together reminiscing over pretend lost & gone forever dinosaur family 😭😭😭

To be clear, as soon as I rounded the corner they were smiling & asking if I thought they were really crying or just pretending (granted they WERE really crying but they knew it was pretend). Cinco did tear up again as he said the names of the deceased 😂 Bumpy, Long Neck & Bronty, RIP.

I had the the door open so it was just the screen door open during this afternoon’s thunderstorm & I asked Cinco if the floor was wet inside. His response: No. Just dirty. 😂

•What’s Been Freeing

I don’t know about y’all, but I sometimes feel like a pinball in the machine of life. Ricocheting off each new event with no sense of direction or predictability, just trying to simultaneously score points & avoid falling down into the pit. Didn’t know arcade games could be so dark, did ya?

We moved to Ansbach, Germany in 2019. We had one glorious year before the world turned upside down & have spent the last three years waiting for it to make its way right side up again all while living as foreigners away from the built-in support from family & hometown friends. We’ve made a home here, a haven from the upheaval. But we’ve also felt like the unlucky-short-stick-drawers, the underdogs & I’ll admit, I haven’t maintained the holiest perspective about all of it either. I’ve pouted & complained &, as you know, read a lot of novels to escape into a story I liked better than mine. But this isn’t a sob-story. It’s not a pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps sermon either. It’s a true glimpse into the past few years of our lives where we’ve felt anything but free, but where I’ve found a few things that feel freeing to me.

If anything has been made abundantly clear, it’s that I’m not the boss of the geopolitical landscape. Or our own journey through a military career. Or even choosing when or where we move. I’m mostly not the boss of basically anything EVEN THOUGH MY INITIALS ARE CEO & I FEEL THAT WAS MISLEADING. But ya know what I have the God-ordained rule over? The culture & atmosphere of my home. & who knows? That could end up effecting the geopolitical landscape one day…but for today, I’m in charge of choosing well how I will spend my time. How I will invest my mind. How I will discipline my body & mind to serve me & my family well. I’m the boss of my phone. I’m the boss of my bedtime. I’m the boss of my alarm clock. We can both relinquish control over the major events of our lives & take up the reins of those things we have within our stewardship. & that is freeing to me.

If you showed back up here & this feels like a lot & a little at the same time, it does to me too. How do you reappear after 4-ish years & casually drop some travel photos & inner-world thoughts? Beats me. But thanks for sticking around to watch me try. All four of you. It’s a pleasure to be back in the blogosphere. Is that a word? No red line appeared prompting me to rethink my spelling so we’re going with it.

Until next time…

Love from the Osbornes!

This title is a double entendre (I have never typed that word, but I now feel VERY accomplished as a writer) because we welcomed Baby Oz earth-side & into his actual home very recently!

Allow me to elaborate (aka the most succinct title if I had to give my blog a new, more honest name):
Nathan Oakley Osborne, V was born April 1st, 2018 at 5:50am, weighing in at 7lbs, 8oz & was 21.5 inches long.

Yes, you are remembering correctly, that WAS Easter Sunday AND April Fools’ Day! I announced this birth on IG (that’s what all the cool kids are calling Instagram. Go & do likewise.) in a rather nonchalant way. The following are all the of not-so-nonchalant birth announcements that didn’t make the cut:

In the category of Most Obnoxious:
We had Baby Oz!
It’s a boy!
His name is Nathan Oakley Osborne, V & we’re calling him Cinco!
He weighed 7lbs 8oz & was 21.5in long!
APRIL FOOLS’!
It’s actually a girl whom we’re calling APRIL FOOLS’ DAY OSBORNE!
It really is a boy & the above information is correct.
Happy Easter! #heisrisen #bestaprilfoolsinhistory

In the category of Most Clever If We Could Have Pulled It Off:
[insert photo of me holding two babies]
Oakie was right! It WAS twins!!!
Introducing Axel Rose & Axel Rod Osborne born April FOOLS’ DAY!!!!
[insert correct information about Cinco]
*all credit for this idea goes to Theresa Garcia Robertson
*all blame for this not happening goes to all the pregnant women who did NOT have their babies on the same day as me at St. Francis

In the category of My Personal Favorite:
Friends, colleagues, fellow countrymen, I just wanted to inform you that our only begotten son was born on April 1st, 2018–this Lord’s Day that we are celebrating Easter Sunday. As our Saviour went to the cross on Good Friday, so I went into labor on Good Friday & as He rose again from the dead to new life on Easter morning, so I brought new life into the world on Easter morning. And we say together with the saints, “Behold, the Womb is empty!” #heisrisen #bestaprilfoolsinhistory
[insert correct information about Cinco]
*all credit for the punchline goes to Randy Robertson

Now without further ado:

This newborn session was with one of my new favorite people, Jennifer Corcoran, who perfectly captured our crazy, beautiful family just as it is right now. It will change, grow, and look different in the future, but these images will forever have captured how I see us right now. Thank God for gorgeous photography & the artists who do it well.

Right after this shoot, Oakie left for SERE school for 3 weeks. This sweet boy did him the favor of not changing all that much while he was gone & today he turns one month old. Fear not, for those who enjoyed the Blue Chair Series of Skye’s first year will love the continuation of the Series with Cinco. Stay tuned for his very first Blue Chair photo!

Cinco, we’re so glad you’re here.

Until next time!

love,
the osbornes

GUYS. I’m here. I’ve been MIA since this kid turned one & looked like this…

Now, she’s ALMOST 2 & looks like this:

THAT HAIRRRRRR. As you might’ve guessed she’s only gotten more delightful, hilarious & quirky (three of my favorite human attributes). When we left Japan, she was juuuust learning to walk, but within two weeks of being stateside, she was basically running. I credit all the family support & the carpeting at Auntie Hannah’s house.

In the way of an update, this post will be a quick rundown of Osborne life from leaving Japan to making our home in Sweet Home Alabama (insert guitar riff you’ll be humming for the next hour. YAWELCOME.) I’ll be taking a chapter from Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life and giving seasonal updates because, let’s be honest: it’s the only chapter we need to be taking from that tack-on series. Yeah, I said it. And I know you’re thinking, “Caroline, there are so many other seasonally themed things you could use like Hobby Lobby’s entryway displays or Starbucks’ rotating coffee syrups!” But as author of this blog, I get to make the choices. #sorrynotsorry

We spent the last few weeks in Japan soaking up our sweet routine, which OF COURSE involved Jeopardy & Wheel of Fortune each evening with Daddy. This routine continued in Alabama once we figured out the local broadcasting schedule & set up our whale skeleton antennae. (That’s what it’s called, right, honey? Honey?) I’ve fallen in love with local news–looking at you Allison & Dillon. Those updates on the happenings in the Wiregrass keep me GOING from 6-7pm CST. AND THE FADE OUT BANTER? Don’t even get me started…

In our final week, we also spent a lot of time saying goodbye to friends; true heart friends that made this the hardest place to leave that I’ve ever left.

How do you put into words the love you’ve built for 19 months? How do you say goodbye to friends you’ve done life with for all that time? How do you solve a problem like Maria?  Whoops. Joke. Coping mechanism for deep emotion. Just call me Chandler.
In short, we love you guys. We miss you. We’ll always look forward to the next time. lovelovelove.

We also took some time to say goodbye to Fuji san…the morning of our flight…because I’M NOT CRAZY. *YOU’RE* CRAZY. I felt like leaving without a family picture in front of the most iconic symbol for Japan would be akin to visiting Paris & saying, “I’ll see the Eiffel Tower next time…” As my good friend Riley once said in the greatest film of all time (National Treasure): “It’s not that it shouldn’t be done, Ben. It can’t be done.” I feel confident my family will thank me for the 5am, hour plus long drive and camera-tripod-self-timer-mania later. Maybe MUCH later, but I’ll never stop waiting. I feel a little like I channeled some Jill Osborne on this & for that, I couldn’t be more proud.

Sayonara, Fuji san. Sayonara, Nihon. Goodbye, Japan.

The home where I became a mama, we became a family of three
& we made some of the best memories & friends I never knew I needed.

A   N   D      H   E   L   L   O      A   M   E   R   I   C   A   !   !   !

Home of my childhood, home of the brave
& new home to our growing family.

(SPOILER ALERT: I’M PREGNANT & DUE ANY MINUTE!).

s    u    m    m    e    r
(the one where you can tell Rory has never waved a tiny American flag IN HER LIFE.)

Our summer was spent transitioning to American and Alabamian life with pool days galore & lots of moving in. We spent some time in our mountain haven & lots of time with family & friends we hadn’t seen in a while. It looked a little like this:

Oh, and we got a new pup because we just couldn’t wait any longer! He & Skye are best buddies & have been since day one. We needed this guy in our lives & we’re so happy he’s here. Hello Remus, successor to Romulus, aka Remy!

Who now looks like THIS…

…because YES I KNOW I haven’t blogged in months & kids & puppies grow leaps & bounds in that time. This particular blog post is for people who really love those HGTV Before & After reveals.
The rest of the summer was a blur of morning sickness, backyard pool days, crazy good tans & grilling out. It looked a little bit like this:

Uncle Reagan met Skye, we celebrated the 4th of July in America for the first time with our new American citizen & we visited the Biltmore Estate. It was a summer for the books.

For those who don’t know, our move to Alabama was spurred by Oakie’s branch switch from Infantry to Aviation so he could fulfill a lifelong dream of becoming a pilot! We’ve gotten to see him fly a helicopter, make all the Top Gun references, call him an Ace Pilot from Day One & thoroughly enjoy helping him study to pass all his exams with flying colors (pun ABSOLUTELY intended) which he did, graduating number 1 in his class & I’m so proud of him, I could die.

a    u    t    u    m    n
(the one where I know they call it fall, but autumn is a magical word & I’ll never understand the poor substitution that “fall” is)

Autumn in Alabama is a lot like summer in Alabama. In fact, for most of the summer pictures, I’m not even 100% sure they were taken in that season, but IT HONESTLY DOESN’T EVEN MATTER because heat + pool + eventual coolness + insanely rapid digression into sweaters & hot beverages = just fine with me. #southernborn

During this sweetest of seasons, we announced our pregnancy to the world, got to know our new town in southern Alabama & enjoyed every last drop of summer weather. I also performed in a dinner theatre production in an adorable downtown theatre called Southern Broadway. It was a legal thriller called Juror #7 about a recent law school grad, Lindsey Walker, (me) who becomes embroiled in revealing & solving the scandal of the century for that small, southern town. For some fun photos of me making ridiculous faces (acting) & also looking like I know my way around a courtroom (extra acting), make your way over to the website with the above link. It was a true pleasure to return to the stage & we met the kind of friends that you know you’ll keep for a lifetime. I am just absolutely the most blessed to have found it & been invited to the table for a little theatre & some seriously amazing food.

(and yes, I WAS 5 months pregnant by the end of the run.
Yay for flexible costumers & baggy shirts!)

We completed the autumn season with another trip to our mountain haven just in time to see all the leaves change, fall & make room for new life. It was magical.

This seems like quite enough for one post, so check in later for Part 2: Winter & Spring as we count down to the blog post about Baby Oz being born (turns out the prerequisite for that IS Baby Oz being born).

love from Alabama,

the osbornes

As many of you got a chance to see, tigers were unleashed into our story not too long ago in a little place called Thailand. But allow me to back up a bit…
We chose Thailand for our Spring Break trip after Cambodia fell through. We’ll get there one day, but today: Thailand.
We were there for one week & packed a lot in…our suitcases. jk. our trip.

To be honest, my knowledge of Thailand only extended to their food. I love me some good Thai food. This was enough to make me REALLY happy we were going, but what I found when we got there was so much more. I mean, THE FOOD. But also, EVERYTHING ELSE.

(& yes I’m talking about the tigers, but just HOLD YOUR HORSES…AND YOUR TIGERS!)

First off, we left 30 degree Japan & landed in 95 degree Thailand. It was glorious.

We landed right in the middle of Chiang Mai…& Thailand’s New Year celebration, called Songkran Festival. Translated directly to English, this means “nationwide water fight”. I’m not kidding. I mean I AM kidding about the translation, but NOT about the very serious business of hosting a water fight for THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. It was mayhem. And hilarious. And sopping, soaking, dripping wet with the barrels of canal water being sloshed on you at every street corner…& every street…& every tuk tuk ride. We purchased SuperSoakers at our earliest convenience & joined right in. I would love to say I got epic action shots of this water fight situation, but camera + water = insurance plan. No thanks. It will live on in my water-logged memory though.

CALM DOWN. WE’RE GETTING TO THE TIGERS.

Other than the water fight, Chiang Mai offered a host of enormously fun activities.
Like riding enormous elephants on a jungle trek, for one. This I have pictures of…

We also got to bamboo raft down a river and sunbathe, something the Thai people laughed at me for.
Beauty standards truly are arbitrary.
Tans are not desired in sunny Thailand & I was asked multiple times why I didn’t have an umbrella & did I want one to maintain my perfectly pale skin?
This (half) Mexican got a tan.
& a coconut with a straw in it.

We travelled for most of the trip with Jesse & Donnie, two friends we met in Japan who have cameo-ed on the blog before… Jesse’s the one squatting on the rock. Donnie was our raft-pole-user for a hot minute. (Does anyone say “hot minute” anymore?)

I feel like there was one other thing we did in Chiang Mai…what was it again?
Ugh, I’m totally blanking…
Oh yeah!
A cooking class! I know y’all wouldn’t want me to leave THAT out! My heart is pumping just REMEMBERING. Talk about thrills, ammirite? (alternate spellings include ammiright, am I right, & am I rite. I obviously chose the hippest. go & do likewise.)

We got to cook in an open air kitchen at the Baan Hongnual Cookery School. Our guide, Kuan, was so friendly & kitchen-savvy. She took us to the market & we got to buy all of our ingredients fresh from the vendors. That was a unique experience on its own, but chopping it up & cooking it was straight off of the Food Channel. I was living my Chopped dream.

Also, I got to use a wok & now I must have one.
#7monthsuntilchristmas
#andmybirthday
#wokwishes

Later that day we visited some ruins that have been discovered in Chiang Mai within the last decade! Some are over 700 years old! Plus Oakie tried on all the hats at the handmade goods & wares markets we went to…

We then moved on to Bangkok & got to visit an Elephant Park & the floating market. There were baby elephants so this chick was loving every second.

And on our last day in Bangkok, we made a special trip to see the largest reclining Buddha in the world, located at Wat Pho. “Wat Pho holds the distinction of having both Thailand’s largest reclining Buddha image and the largest number of Buddha images in Thailand.” We also found the original “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil” monkeys at the Temple of the Dawn.

Definitely a highlight. And yes, we went to the Temple of the Dawn at dawn.
You should feel silly for asking.

Also, full disclosure, I just listened to Amarillo Sky by Jason Aldean while I typed because my sister, Sarah Ann, just planted a garden & now she thinks she’s a farmer & it seemed like the right thing to do.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M STALLING THE TIGER PHOTO REVEAL?!
*YOU’RE* STALLING THE TIGER PHOTO REVEAL!!

fine.

Yes, there are 40 pictures here.
Yes, you can click on them to look at them all up close.
Yes, those are real tigers.
No, they were not drugged. Just hand-reared & well-fed.
Yes, 60% of my smiles have a hammering heart behind them & are masking real live fear.

In all seriousness, this was the most intense experience of my life.
And I’ve been sky-diving.
These animals are massive.
You think you can imagine the size of their heads, but you can’t imagine how you will feel when you’re sitting next to those heads and reaching out to pet them.
They were majestic, glorious, imposing.
They were precious in an over-sized kitty way, but entirely demanding of every ounce of respect you’ve ever had for nature.

They aren’t as soft as you might think.
Every second in their enclosure, their turf, was like borrowed time.
It felt like I was giving them access to my life & hoping they’d let me walk back out with it.
I would apologize for being slightly dramatic, but have YOU ever sat down next to a 200 hundred pound tiger & processed how that made you feel?

As we were standing outside the cages looking in at the next group we’d get to pet, Donnie said to me, “It’s like a small glimpse of how we should feel about God.”
C.S. Lewis was on to something when he made Aslan a lion.
I was terrified, awestruck & giving my absolute attention & respect to that creature when we were encountering each other.
It had the ability to crush me, to maul me, to utterly change my entire life in half a second. If it had really wanted to harm me, no guide with a 12-inch bamboo stick could’ve stopped it.

It reminds me of a story about Jesus in Mark 7:24-30. It’s the story of a Gentile woman, a Syrophoenician woman, approaching Jesus to be specific. Reminder: from the Old Testament we know that God chose a specific group of people through which to show the world who He was & His plan to rescue us all. They were the Israelites. The Jews. When Jesus shows up, He wants to give them an opportunity to be a part of the grand rescue of the world first; not exclusively, but first. Any Gentile would know this. The long-awaited Messiah was of the Jews & for the Jews, as far as they knew.
Ah, but that Syrophoeneician woman had a problem. Her daughter was ill. Her daughter was possessed by a demon & she needed help now. So when she hears that Jesus, that crazy Jewish guy who can heal anyone, is in town, she goes.
She walks straight into the cage with the tiger.
And she asks Him to cast the demon out of her daughter.
And He tells her what might appear to be an insult on the outside, “Let the children be satisfied first, for it is not good to take the children’s bread & throw it to the dogs.”
And she says right back to Him, “Yes Lord, but even the dogs under the table feed on the children’s crumbs.”

What is happening here? Tim Keller puts it this way:

“One key to understanding it is the very unusual word Jesus uses for “dogs” here. He uses a diminutive form, a word that really means “puppies.” […] Jesus is saying to her, ‘You know how families eat: First the children eat at the table, and afterward their pets eat too. It is not right to violate that order. The puppies must not eat food from the table before the children do. […] I was sent only to the lost lambs of Israel.’ […] He was sent to show Israel that He was the fulfillment of all Scripture’s promises […]. But after He was resurrected, He immediately said to the disciples, ‘Go to all the nations.’ His words, then, are not the insult they appear to be. What he’s saying […] is, ‘Please understand, there’s an order here. I’m going to Israel first, then the Gentiles (the other nations) later.’ However, she comes back with an astounding reply: […] ‘Okay, I understand. I am not from Israel, I do not worship the God that the Israelites worship. Therefore, I don’t have a place at the table. I accept that. […] But there’s more than enough on that table for everyone in the world, and I need mine now.’ She is wrestling with Jesus in the most respectful way and she will not take no for an answer.

In western culture, we don’t have anything like this kind of assertiveness. We only have assertion of our rights. […] But this woman is not doing that at all. This is rightless assertiveness, something we know nothing about. She’s not saying, ‘Lord, give me what I deserve on the basis of my goodness.’ She’s saying, ‘Give me what I DON’T deserve on the basis of YOUR goodness–and I need it now.'”

She walks right up to the tiger & asks Him to use His power to help her & not hurt her.
He is majestic, glorious, imposing.
He is precious in His gentleness, but entirely demanding of every ounce of respect she’d ever had for authority.
Every second in His presence is like borrowed time.
She gave Him access to her life & hoped He’d let her walk back out with her daughter’s.

He had the ability to crush her, to maul her, but instead He chose to utterly change her entire life in half a second.

Being beside those animals was the closest I’ve ever come to the kind of awestruck fear that the Bible talks about.
Real talk, there was a minute there where I had to walk out with tears in my eyes because it was all just a little too scary.
It was amazing.

And I get to know that the God who came up with the idea for tigers is on my side, a lion to my enemies: Fear, guilt, anxiety.
And a lamb to me.

I get to pet the Tiger.

I’m trying something new this month.

I’ve moved to a new site that will, hopefully, better facilitate my blog/help this poor girl format everything without wanting to throw everything I own outside…and then stomp on it.

I will continue to post my Weekend Updates (I 100% totally came up with this completely original title myself. All rights reserved ©.) about Life in Japan, but I’ll be adding a new element on a (semi-) bi-monthly basis (I make no promises on the frequency of this because, you know…I just don’t). It will be more along the lines of a personal essay about my life & the work that Jesus is doing & I will post mid-week.

I am by no means, an expert in Jesus. As Paul says, “Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus…” in Philippians 3:12. If Paul hadn’t obtained it yet, this chick certainly hasn’t. The writings I will publish have one goal: To encourage you to press on. To obtain it. ‘It’ being our complete rescue by Jesus. The implications of this are infinite. If you have already experienced the initial rescue, the implications will continue to reverberate throughout your life as it becomes more complete. If you haven’t, they haven’t yet begun, but I invite you to “taste & see that the Lord is good.” See it through my writing, my imperfections, my weaknesses, my utter failures. Let them show you, by contrast, the surpassing worth of Him who loves & loves & loves me &, my friend, you too.

*This was originally written in January 2016 so some of the references are long past.

Daily Bread

         So the preacher says, “And to all you young, single girls plagued by body image issues…to all the business men who hesitate to be bold for the gospel…for the young mom feeling tired and left out…” & then he efficiently, skillfully applies this week’s sermon to their lives. Their real lives.

But he doesn’t say, “To all the young, childless couples living abroad for a short season, travelling most weekends so you can see & experience people & places, customs & traditions, religions & rituals you’ve never seen before…this is how this week’s sermon applies to you.” Because, you see, most people aren’t in that category and for the sake of time the man’s got to speak to the most people. So on this Tuesday, I’m wandering through a season of wondering what faithful living looks like here. Now.

Because, I actually am in that category.

I’m in an in-between.

A not-yet.

An almost.

I’m not a young mother…yet. I’m not a young single 20-something…anymore. I’m an army wife living in Japan for less than two years, yearning desperately to DO something; to live out the gospel.

Now, if I’m completely honest, this is a premature rambling. We’ve been here for 6-ish weeks and are still finding our sea legs (I mean, this IS an island). I’m still gasping every time I get a little too close to the left side of the road BECAUSE DRIVING HERE IS TERRIFYINGLY NEW. I understand it’s all a bit early to be dwelling on…but then I’ve never been good with timing. So instead of subduing this feeling of urgency to GET TO IT ALREADY, I am just acknowledging it.

Our lives are not ordinary. They are not typical. Yet they feel quite mundane some days. We’re settling in & getting to know our neighbors, but we’re also going on wild adventures, to places I’ve never even heard of, almost every weekend. We’re trying to build a church community, but we’re missing most Sundays because we’re “travelling” & “seeing the world.”

Do not misunderstand me. THIS IS THE DREAM. I understand that. But it does pose an odd predicament as I strive to grow in my faith. As I read books like:

Simply Tuesday by Emily Freeman

& For The Love by Jen Hatmaker

& Carry On, Warrior by Glennon D. Melton,

I’m struck by how outside I feel to these normal-life-doers encouraging other normal-life-doers to continue in the good & normal work before them. Encouraging them to not miss the little moments & the small beginnings & the brave everyday of kids & school & small-town living…& I think to myself, “That couldn’t possibly be further from my reality.” So how in a world of books on normal life, do I glean wisdom for my not-so-normal life?

& then, I just sit back & allow the Lord to direct my memory.

He will, you know, if you let Him.

It’s, like, His favorite thing to do.

We’re just so darn forgetful. You give us five minutes & we’ll be up in arms about the wait in the Starbucks drive-thru right after we just raised our hand to a praise & worship song that “just really resonates with me.”

We. Forget.

We forget the goodness of the Lord.

His faithfulness.

His promises kept.

His lavish love & abundant provision.

We just forget.

& so, He helps me remember.

It was a Thursday morning. We’d been in Japan for 4 weeks. I was invited to a women’s Bible Study group by my neighbor. Just the day before I’d met a wonderful lady, whose husband was a chaplain & she had a daughter at COVENANT COLLEGE. And she was leading a book study by TIM KELLER. & the more we talked the more her eyes said to mine,

“I recognize you. We belong to each other.”

She knew my people, my places. She spoke my language & I came home & GUSHED to Oakie about the gift God had given me in her.

& on that Thursday morning, I met Chieko-san…well two actually. Chieko-san 1 & Chieko-san 2. This is about Chieko-san 2. She introduced herself & we talked & she continued to be floored that I was kind to her because she was

“so old” & I was

“so young” &

“why would you want to spend so much time talking to me?”

& I just smiled and told her that her age brought her wisdom & I’d be a fool to pass her friendship up. & so now we’re Facebook friends and she’s going to teach me the traditional Japanese tea ceremony AT HER HOUSE. (teaser alert: this weekend on the blog!)

But you haven’t even heard the magic yet. Another young Japanese woman I’d been talking to pulled me aside later to make sure I knew that although Chieko-san had been attending this bible study group for some time now, she had never become a Christian. She encouraged me to pursue this friendship with that in mind.

But I forgot. I pondered life here & finished book after book & wondered what was for me? What’s my faithful living look like, God? Where’s my work for the gospel? I’m not working & I’m not a mom & we keep missing church & my neighbor is ALREADY A CHRISTIAN &…&…&…

Be still & know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

& He reminded me.

Don’t you see, little one? I am God. I know My plans for you.

I have good works already lined up for you to walk in them.

Don’t you think I desire “faithful living” for you as much as you do?

Be still. I am already at work and you don’t even remember.

All things, child, all things are working for your joy & My glory.

So I am resting & resisting the temptation to fret & fear & flounder.

I am embracing the small that comes with not knowing the answers.

I am walking in the small, short, steps He has given me.

It is “daily” bread after all, is it not?

What are you fretting & fearing & floundering about?

Is there a chance it’s because you’ve forgotten?

Have you taken some time to let Jesus help you remember?

Remember His goodness.

Remember His past provision.

Let that dissolve your fear as it’s overtaken by His big, complete faithfulness.

Have you never met Jesus?

Have you never investigated whether or not His claims are true?

Maybe it’s time & reading this was the latest “sign.”

I am, of course, available over the internet to talk about it & if not me, I would encourage you to find someone you know to be a Christian & ask them.

“His arm is not too short to save, nor His ear too dull to hear.” -Isaiah 59:1