Author: carolineeosborne

I am a 33 year old lover of Jesus following my husband, Oakie, with three babes in tow (Skye, Cinco, & Jack), around the world as we partake in this adventure called Life.

The Problem With Guilt

The Problem With Guilt

We’ve been laying low in these parts for about a week and a half now.
It was time for some rest so we took a little break from “going hard in the paint” as Oakie likes to say…what does that even mean?! It just sounds messy…and weird. #absurdadages ANYWAY…I’ll be back with more adventures (& completely amazing, stunning, magazine-worthy, life-altering, earth-shattering photography) later this week. For now, just take this little exhale that I wrote a few weeks ago.

I shared this as a devotional for the women’s Bible study group on base recently & hope you will find in it a few cracks in your idea of me because through those, the light of Jesus will shine all the brighter.

I’ve had to pray for sleep lately. This is strange for me.

Sleep has always come easily, effortlessly. I’m the one who “can sleep anywhere, anytime.”

Plane rides, no problem.

Car rides, no problem.

Bedtime…roadblock.

It’s like a processing delay that takes advantage of my bedtime to catch back up. Everything I’ve pushed aside that day comes back to be processed & categorized & put away.

The Bible tells us that safe & restful sleep is part of our reward.

Proverbs 3:24- “If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”

Psalm 4:8- “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

I’ve experienced this gift in abundance all my life, but now…now I have to ask for it. This humbled me. In fact, for at least a week straight of eyes-wide nights, I didn’t.

I tried sleep meditations.

Focusing on my breathing.

Quieting my thoughts.

Everything but asking God for it. And then, I did. One night, I was at the end of my sleepless self and I just asked. No lie, I was asleep in less than 3 minutes.

So, I wonder. What does this say about me?

Firstly, why am I struggling to sleep in this season?

Secondly, what is the root of this hesitancy to take my burden to Jesus?

In the moments before sleep finally won me over, the thoughts racing through my mind were, in part, excitement about the future; what the next day held for me. But those thoughts were easy to dismiss; to set aside as lower priority than my sleep.

It was the haunting, foreboding thoughts that lingered & gave me no rest.
In those quiet times before rest came, I was visited by griefs of the past.
Embarrassing moments.

Guilt over past sins.

Grief over the death of Romy. Consequential questioning of God’s plan for me & guilt for not “being over it already” or for “not trusting God enough.”

On the night when I asked God for sleep, & He graciously answered me without delay, it was as if a veil was torn away & I saw my sleepless nights for what they were: a death rattle of the enemy’s lies that have held me captive for so long.

It should come as no surprise that transitional periods tend to bring into the light elements of your life that have been tucked away. Moving to Japan has certainly done that for me & a large part of my recent sanctification has centred on my sin of guilt.

Guilt is a slimy sin that is deceitful in its essence & therefore, perhaps, more dangerous than blatant sins. Guilt tells you that this is your lot in life because of who you are, what you’ve done, etc. It tells you that it simply accompanies your sin kit & caboodle so there’s no way out. “If you sin, you get guilt forever” says its warped logic. And I sin…so I’m guilty. This makes sense…and I believed. Hook, line & sinker.

This has followed me my entire life. It has trained me to keenly observe other people’s words & actions & reactions as they apply to me so that I can measure up & be saved the guilt of letting them down. This has a name in society that I believe is, all at once, a misnomer & deadly accurate: People pleaser.

But really, I believe, it has made me incredibly self-centered. If every interaction with another human is really just an attempt to “read” them so I can appropriate the desired response (them liking me; me not having guilt that they don’t), then how in the actual heck am I truly listening? Caring? Loving THEM? You see…I’m not.

Guilt’s lie is that that is how you succeed. You listen to others only to the point that you can determine how to best make them like you and then you become that

or do that

or say that

and leave with a massive sigh of relief that you didn’t embarrass yourself or commit a faux pas.

Do you see how this completely leaves out of the equation a single thought about the other person except in the context of YOU?

But, you see, you pleased them, so it was good.

It was ok.

It was enough.

This is an accurate portrayal of my life. This was my modus operandi. My MO. My plan of action. My mission.

And it BLINDED me.
I looked at ‘selfishness’ as a sin of others.
I mean, here I am, doing everything I can to make others happy, so selfishness? Not my vice. Not my problem. Not my thing.

NOT THE TRUTH.

The enemy had me pegged.
He could get me to obsess over myself & count myself among the selfless all at once. A perfect recipe for an ineffective witness.

I was my own undoing.

I was my own stumbling block.

HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO GET ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED.
This chick can handle HERSELF.

She can put herself on the sidelines of this cosmic game for people’s souls & I can get busy derailing somebody else.

BUT GOD.

Perhaps the most powerful words in Scripture.

It doesn’t matter what comes before those words because what comes after them will always change everything.

He didn’t leave me in that pattern; in that blindness; in that sin.

But He sure didn’t snatch me out of it either.

Scripture says God is slow to anger. But I sometimes wonder if the truth is shorter…God is slow.

This tempo is our salvation; were He not slow, we wouldn’t exist & we certainly wouldn’t know Him.
But it is also our chagrin. Why doesn’t He move faster? Why isn’t He immediate? Instant? Quick?

Then I look back & realize—almost in an instant—that I, too, am slow.
Made in His image, I reflect this truth about our God.
If He rushed me, forced me, dragged me to His conclusions, I would run, resist or resent Him…but God is slow.
He is patient with me. 1 Corinthians 13 says only two things that love is, before speaking about the rest of things that love is not: Love is patient & kind.

If God is love; then God is patient & kind.

God is slow.

He brings me along, as I am able to follow.
The past (almost) 3 years of marriage have been teaching me a lesson that I’m just now able to articulate.

I am not guilty.

I. Am. Not. Guilty.

I AM NOT GUILTY.

Most of the conflict in my marriage to date has revolved around the vestiges of guilt that I’ve carried in from my life before. These vestiges look like shame & defensiveness & an assumption of guilt. Oakie has slowly, faithfully, steadily shown me remarkable, immeasurable, boundless love that literally has NOTHING to do with what I did or didn’t do.

This has been mind-blowing.

How is his approval not determined by my action or inaction?

His mantra has become, “We’re on the same team.”

He reminds me that he is for me.

There is no need for shame because he knows everything & loves me.

There is no need for defensiveness because I am free in his love to do as I wish without defending my position.

There is no need for an assumption of guilt because he only ever assumes that I’ve done well & have acted with our best interest in mind.

In the beginning, this was nonsense to me.

Eventually, he would stop saying this. Eventually, he would be disappointed when I inevitably let him down & THEN all this guilt would be well deserved. Eventually, we’d start trading in this currency I know too well.

Guilt + Pressure = Desired Outcome

But three years really wears a girl down.

He’s been going strong with this, “I am for you. I trust you to make decisions for us. We’re on the same team,” nonsense for THREE YEARS.

So…maybe he’s telling the truth?

Maybe he actually, really, truly trusts & respects my opinions?

Maybe he really, really isn’t going to flip when the credit card bill comes in?

Maybe he honestly loves me after mistakes & hasn’t once “made me pay” in the form of guilt?

SHUT. UP.

Because here’s the thing…if human Oakie can do that…then divine God can do that.

And that means I’ve had it wrong this whole time.

You see, I believed the gospel, but I mostly believed it was for someone else.

I’ve kept church notes in notebooks for over a decade now and I have hundreds of pages filled with the gospel & its applications.

I can’t really explain this BECAUSE YES I KNOW IT’S CRAZY, but I always wrote my notes to a future “reader” and sometimes when passages came up about the freedom from shame & guilt we have in Christ, I honestly believed they were true for the person reading, but not for me.

Not for me.

That thought accompanied my writing.

“There is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus…” but not for me.

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, […] nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus…” …but not for me.

I wrote them down.

I understood them.

I yearned for their truth to woo unbelievers unto Himself…but not for me.

What was for me? The suffering & the trials & the tribulations that must be endured to be one of His. I knew & understood the pain you have to bear to be loved by someone. That’s how it goes, right? You try to be good enough, but you fail & He begrudgingly loves you anyway because He has to. He’s your Father…

But the freedom & unconditional love & acceptance in the Bible? Not for me.

I LITERALLY BELIEVED THAT.

Y’all.

How blind do you have to be to literally miss almost every single point of the gospel when you’ve written it down yourself for over ten years?

Like, coke-bottle-glasses-blind.

But God is slow.

So it’s ok if I am slow.

And now, I am awakening to this wild idea that all those good, precious, earth-shattering truths are for me.

I am walking in a brand-new confidence, but it’s not in myself, it’s in HIM. He already loves me, so now I can love me.

I can be ok with myself.

I can sin & not live in fear of the gauntlet or the new level of begrudged love He has for me. It’s counterintuitive, but do you know how much easier this makes repentance?
I always HATED the idea of repentance.

It always looked to me like a guilty kid ‘fessing up & accepting the new, diminished love that she deserved.

WHY WOULD I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THAT?

I’d rather avoid the unpleasant business altogether and stick with THIS level of love…

But now, repentance is an act of inviting Jesus into my sin (I actually say those words in my heart) and asking Him to grant me MORE forgiveness & grace than I had before. And there’s no danger of sinning more so I can get extra grace because each time I receive it, I walk away with a deep gratitude that motivates me to give Him more of my life lived in love—which, as we know, is patient & kind.

I want to be more patient & kind after repentance than I did before & that, in & of itself is reason enough to keep coming back.

Isn’t that how we want to live?

With patience & kindness?

So if repentance is the road, then I will pave it with daily invitations, asking Jesus to take my sin & in its place give me forgiveness & grace.

And I will leave with more than I came with.

More patience for others’ sin.

More kindness for myself & those around me.

& More love for my incredibly generous Saviour, Jesus.

So THIS is the gospel I keep hearing about.

“There Is Only One Encounter”

“There Is Only One Encounter”

Oh Japan. How thou hast sweetly wooed this western heart…
(little too shakespeare-y? note taken. moving on.)

In my time in Japan, I’ve had my ideas of beauty radically shifted. I mean, I’ve always had a deep-seated wanderlust & I’ve intentionally set out to let seeing the world change me, but MAN. I just didn’t see this fool coming!
From the first day when 3 men helped us roll our bags to a waiting-on-us bus & we drove into a Tokyo sunset, I was awestruck. & it hasn’t stopped.

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“Send me the sunset I love the most…when I’m in Tokyo”

It’d probably be silly to make a List Of All The Japanese Things I Love The Most…
[1. little kids in matching caps
2. tiny coffee shops
3. vending machines with cold coffee
4. Starbucks on every corner & in every train station
5. coffee (too obvious?)
6. best everyday fashion I’ve ever seen (& I spent 5 weeks in Italy. Sorry, Japan wins.)
7. ALL THE RESTAURANTS: indian, ramen, yakiniku…ALL OF THEM.
8. walking & train-ing everywhere (thanks to Allie, for the verb-age)
9. mountain sunsets every day!
10. overwhelming societal kindness]
…right? Ok, good. Then I definitely won’t do THAT.

Recently, I’ve had what I deem to be more than my fair share of beauty in distinctly Japanese packaging. There is a saying at Japanese tea ceremonies, “There is only one encounter.” The meaning behind it is essentially that you should be motivated to serve your guest tea as if they were the only person you would ever serve tea, thus giving it your all every time. (& we thought we were being clever with our YOLO. HA. Japan’s had that on lock for CENTURIES.)

Isn’t that beautiful?
This day.
This moment.
There is only one encounter.
What about my life would change if I served others as if they were the only person I would get to serve?
There is only one encounter.
Would I go slower?
There is only one encounter.
Would I be so preoccupied with what’s coming next?
There is only one encounter.

The traditional tea ceremony takes over an hour.
An HOUR just to drink tea.
To take time to serve and be served.
To revel in the goodness of that warm cup & the kindness of your friend.
To demonstrate, in a tangible way, how much your guest means to you.
There is only one encounter.

Enjoying this day with Chieko-san & Mieko-san warmed my heart in a way that only lavish hospitality can. This welcome, this invitation, this lingering spoke of something we are all longing for: to belong to each other; to be welcomed into something greater than ourselves; to be given a place at the table.

At what table are you sitting today?
To what table can you invite the one who doesn’t belong?
To lavish on them the grace of hospitality? The welcome of a friend? The invitation?
I created another iMovie of our tea ceremony. It’s 6 hours long. SIKE! Less than 5 minutes. Please enjoy if you’ve ever been curious about what it’s like & let the simplicity encourage you to offer what you have to another.
It need not be elaborate; only enough.

Tea Ceremony Video

The Kawazu Cherry Blossom Festival:
(WARNING: I’m about to bomBARD you with cherry blossom pictures. If these are not your thing or might incline you to say, “I mean REHLLY, there are simply TOO many photographs!” in a British accent, please scroll.) (I would also like to point out that the spell check gave me the option of changing ‘British’ to ‘brutish’ and DAHLING, that REHLLY set me to LAUGHING!)

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There was a geyser that went off several times a day and we made it! #winning
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I. Love. Rainbows.
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when all the work trucks are matchy, but not TOO matchy…

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This tree hadn’t turned all the way and I liked it the best. The Almost Tree.

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Pinecones anyone? 3 for $10!
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I put a cherry blossom in my cherry blossom ice cream and was the talk of the town…I assume that’s what they were pointing and talking about…
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GUYS! I FOUND NANA FROM PETER PAN!
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This is a 1,000 year old tree…
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let that sink in…
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It’s customary at temples to leave all the trees untouched.
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Sections might die, but the tree grows around them & all the dead & broken parts become part of its beauty. There’s a life lesson in there somewhere, I’m sure of it.
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More hina dolls!!!
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Oakie wanted this picture included because it has a tire in it & that reads redneck to him.
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Also, this hotel bus we passed as we stopped along the coast…

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Oh Captain, my Captain!

This day was as close to perfection as it maybe gets this side of heaven:
Perfect weather.
Beautiful cherry blossoms.
Ice cream that TASTED like cherry blossoms.
A walk by the sea.
1,000 year old trees.

…and I thought I’d seen beauty already.
It’s everywhere y’all.
Look for it today & if you don’t see it, create it.
Invite that friend or that almost-friend.
Watch their face light up when you ask them to tell you their story, their favorites, their bests.

There is only one encounter.

 

 

All Things New

I’m trying something new this month.

I’ve moved to a new site that will, hopefully, better facilitate my blog/help this poor girl format everything without wanting to throw everything I own outside…and then stomp on it.

I will continue to post my Weekend Updates (I 100% totally came up with this completely original title myself. All rights reserved ©.) about Life in Japan, but I’ll be adding a new element on a (semi-) bi-monthly basis (I make no promises on the frequency of this because, you know…I just don’t). It will be more along the lines of a personal essay about my life & the work that Jesus is doing & I will post mid-week.

I am by no means, an expert in Jesus. As Paul says, “Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus…” in Philippians 3:12. If Paul hadn’t obtained it yet, this chick certainly hasn’t. The writings I will publish have one goal: To encourage you to press on. To obtain it. ‘It’ being our complete rescue by Jesus. The implications of this are infinite. If you have already experienced the initial rescue, the implications will continue to reverberate throughout your life as it becomes more complete. If you haven’t, they haven’t yet begun, but I invite you to “taste & see that the Lord is good.” See it through my writing, my imperfections, my weaknesses, my utter failures. Let them show you, by contrast, the surpassing worth of Him who loves & loves & loves me &, my friend, you too.

*This was originally written in January 2016 so some of the references are long past.

Daily Bread

         So the preacher says, “And to all you young, single girls plagued by body image issues…to all the business men who hesitate to be bold for the gospel…for the young mom feeling tired and left out…” & then he efficiently, skillfully applies this week’s sermon to their lives. Their real lives.

But he doesn’t say, “To all the young, childless couples living abroad for a short season, travelling most weekends so you can see & experience people & places, customs & traditions, religions & rituals you’ve never seen before…this is how this week’s sermon applies to you.” Because, you see, most people aren’t in that category and for the sake of time the man’s got to speak to the most people. So on this Tuesday, I’m wandering through a season of wondering what faithful living looks like here. Now.

Because, I actually am in that category.

I’m in an in-between.

A not-yet.

An almost.

I’m not a young mother…yet. I’m not a young single 20-something…anymore. I’m an army wife living in Japan for less than two years, yearning desperately to DO something; to live out the gospel.

Now, if I’m completely honest, this is a premature rambling. We’ve been here for 6-ish weeks and are still finding our sea legs (I mean, this IS an island). I’m still gasping every time I get a little too close to the left side of the road BECAUSE DRIVING HERE IS TERRIFYINGLY NEW. I understand it’s all a bit early to be dwelling on…but then I’ve never been good with timing. So instead of subduing this feeling of urgency to GET TO IT ALREADY, I am just acknowledging it.

Our lives are not ordinary. They are not typical. Yet they feel quite mundane some days. We’re settling in & getting to know our neighbors, but we’re also going on wild adventures, to places I’ve never even heard of, almost every weekend. We’re trying to build a church community, but we’re missing most Sundays because we’re “travelling” & “seeing the world.”

Do not misunderstand me. THIS IS THE DREAM. I understand that. But it does pose an odd predicament as I strive to grow in my faith. As I read books like:

Simply Tuesday by Emily Freeman

& For The Love by Jen Hatmaker

& Carry On, Warrior by Glennon D. Melton,

I’m struck by how outside I feel to these normal-life-doers encouraging other normal-life-doers to continue in the good & normal work before them. Encouraging them to not miss the little moments & the small beginnings & the brave everyday of kids & school & small-town living…& I think to myself, “That couldn’t possibly be further from my reality.” So how in a world of books on normal life, do I glean wisdom for my not-so-normal life?

& then, I just sit back & allow the Lord to direct my memory.

He will, you know, if you let Him.

It’s, like, His favorite thing to do.

We’re just so darn forgetful. You give us five minutes & we’ll be up in arms about the wait in the Starbucks drive-thru right after we just raised our hand to a praise & worship song that “just really resonates with me.”

We. Forget.

We forget the goodness of the Lord.

His faithfulness.

His promises kept.

His lavish love & abundant provision.

We just forget.

& so, He helps me remember.

It was a Thursday morning. We’d been in Japan for 4 weeks. I was invited to a women’s Bible Study group by my neighbor. Just the day before I’d met a wonderful lady, whose husband was a chaplain & she had a daughter at COVENANT COLLEGE. And she was leading a book study by TIM KELLER. & the more we talked the more her eyes said to mine,

“I recognize you. We belong to each other.”

She knew my people, my places. She spoke my language & I came home & GUSHED to Oakie about the gift God had given me in her.

& on that Thursday morning, I met Chieko-san…well two actually. Chieko-san 1 & Chieko-san 2. This is about Chieko-san 2. She introduced herself & we talked & she continued to be floored that I was kind to her because she was

“so old” & I was

“so young” &

“why would you want to spend so much time talking to me?”

& I just smiled and told her that her age brought her wisdom & I’d be a fool to pass her friendship up. & so now we’re Facebook friends and she’s going to teach me the traditional Japanese tea ceremony AT HER HOUSE. (teaser alert: this weekend on the blog!)

But you haven’t even heard the magic yet. Another young Japanese woman I’d been talking to pulled me aside later to make sure I knew that although Chieko-san had been attending this bible study group for some time now, she had never become a Christian. She encouraged me to pursue this friendship with that in mind.

But I forgot. I pondered life here & finished book after book & wondered what was for me? What’s my faithful living look like, God? Where’s my work for the gospel? I’m not working & I’m not a mom & we keep missing church & my neighbor is ALREADY A CHRISTIAN &…&…&…

Be still & know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

 

& He reminded me.

Don’t you see, little one? I am God. I know My plans for you.

I have good works already lined up for you to walk in them.

Don’t you think I desire “faithful living” for you as much as you do?

Be still. I am already at work and you don’t even remember.

All things, child, all things are working for your joy & My glory.

 

So I am resting & resisting the temptation to fret & fear & flounder.

I am embracing the small that comes with not knowing the answers.

I am walking in the small, short, steps He has given me.

 

It is “daily” bread after all, is it not?

 

What are you fretting & fearing & floundering about?

Is there a chance it’s because you’ve forgotten?

Have you taken some time to let Jesus help you remember?

Remember His goodness.

Remember His past provision.

Let that dissolve your fear as it’s overtaken by His big, complete faithfulness.

 

Have you never met Jesus?

Have you never investigated whether or not His claims are true?

Maybe it’s time & reading this was the latest “sign.”

I am, of course, available over the internet to talk about it & if not me, I would encourage you to find someone you know to be a Christian & ask them.

“His arm is not too short to save, nor His ear too dull to hear.” -Isaiah 59:1

 

Valentine’s in Kanazawa!

Well, to be specific Kanazawa & Shirakawa-go & Takayama…

I know, these are currently just names of places in Japan that end with an ‘a’, but they’re also incredible tourist destinations with valuable history and places on the UNESCO National Heritage Sites list.

We had the chance to spend our 4-day weekend touring these locations which meant a trip on the famed bullet trains of Japan. We loved those…

 I mean, nothing better than having a reserved seat on the train.
Kanazawa was a beautiful old castle town that we explored extensively; unfortunately it was wet & rainy the whole time & I was a *little* paranoid about my camera getting damaged, so the pictures are minimal. We did get to visit the excellently restored Kanazawa castle that offered free tours in English (which we always take FULL advantage of) and this time we were graced with a guide who loved his job. He studied English in Washington for a few years & told us that he felt he’d never been able to fully express his gratitude for the help the American friends he’d made gave him, so upon his return he started a job as an English tour guide in an effort to indirectly repay the Americans for their gift to him. We were underserving recipients of this gracious action & we couldn’t be more grateful. I was humbled to receive the benefits of this ripple effect. What a wondrous work gratitude does on the heart.

We did a little shopping (at the Gap, but MOSTLY) at the open-air market that featured lots of fresh seafood and a shop where I got to try my first cup of sake…
& found the perfect hostess gift for Chieko-san’s tea ceremony (that was amazing, btw, but I’ll blog about it later…gotta have cliff hangers because strategy).

 We wandered quite a bit here & got to visit a Noh Theatre Museum where I got to dress up like a Noh actor! #timelapsesforthewin

After two nights in Kanazawa, we took a bus to the remote, mountain village of Shirakawa-go, famous for its thatch-roofed farmhouses, some of which are almost 300 hundred years old. That’s older than our COUNTRY, by the way. #respect.  We got to see it in the snow and I was enchanted. 
Fortunately for us, The Last Samurai was on the Japanese-content-version of Netflix in our hotel & we watched it the night before visiting. It was very moving & will instill in you a new, fresh respect (& maybe love?) for Japanese culture. That was my experience, but I…you know…live here. 
Either way, I recommend it. 
Tom Cruise. 
So…enough said. 

 Our first glimpse…
 Magical, isn’t it?

 I COULDN’T BELIEVE THIS SNOW-FORT WAS 300 YEARS OLD!!!
 (please tell me you knew I was kidding…)

 ughhhhhhhhh. Doesn’t this look just like the yard of your dreams? #curbappeal
 Village view from the mountain.
 Inside one of the farmhouses.
This is on the second floor.
 Did I mention that all of these were built WITHOUT NAILS?!
ok, so now you can be REALLY impressed…

 *swoon* I think I have a house-crush…you know, the feeling you get every time you watch Fixer Upper?

This crane is my attempt at “wildlife photography.”
I think I’m ready to break into the industry.

 I mean, have you even ever SEEN enough snow to make footprints without hitting the grass beneath?
(if you’re from above the Mason-Dixon line, 
please refrain from answering this rhetorical question silently at your computer/handheld device)

 We took the time to build this little guy at the top of the mountain.
I think we named him Parson Frederick Brown.
Oakie’s convinced it was something Japanese.
(which one of us sounds more credible??)
(HINT: ME.)

   Either way, we loved him.
 OOOOO, can you find me??


Oakie took this photo of our quintessential Japanese lunch of udon noodles.
#whatapro

Next up was Takayama, another remote, mountain town where we saw a lot of the mountain. 
Meaning, we hiked.
A lot.
It was awesome.
  I have quadriceps like tree trunks now…

 & we ran into one of THESE beauties, otherwise known as the Japanese serow…

As I was thinking about how I would google it so I could describe it in my blog,

 I thought, “It sorta looked like a goat deer…”
Turns out that’s EXACTLY how the Japanese describe it too…

I am, like, SUCH a native.
 & Oakie is, like, SUCH a goat-deer whisperer…He fed it our snack nuts.

& then posed in this hero position fitting for someone of his woodsy stature…
I’d follow this woodsman anywhere…

We also got to see a classic Japanese rickshaw in action!
I”m linking you to this site because who better to tell us about rickshaws then Seinfeld?
(Side note, we recently exhausted the Camp Zama library’s supply of Seinfeld DVDs 
& THEY DON’T HAVE THE 9TH SEASON! We are now accepting donations…)
Overall, this was a fantastic trip that we will remember for years to come.
Oh my gosh, I sound like I’m 85…

In other random news:
Here are some odds & ends in our life…

A piece of art I got to make with my women’s bible study group…
& a slow-mo of waves hitting the seawall..
T, look what I found in Japanese!!!!
Katie!!! Doesn’t this just make you happy? #taylorswift
Until next time,
love from Japan

China Town, Chieko-san & Skiing

I’ve all but given up on clever “post titles” so I came up with this great idea to just call them what I’m going to talk about in that post. Feel free to use this titling tidbit in your everyday life. You’re welcome.

China Town (chinatown?):
Whether it’s one word or two, it was basically like a visit to Mulan’s village…if she lived near a bunch of Hello Kitty stores. We made our way here with some friends we made on an MWR trip (seriously, these trips are our LIFE). Lindsey & Kevin are optometry students doing residency rotations here in Japan & Edgar was a friend coming to visit the Land of the Rising Sun for the first time. 

So, you’re thinking, “Ok, cool. Chinatown. I’ve been to one of those. You eat some dumplings and see more asian people than normal…” NO. Well…I mean, YES. But there’s MORE. It was Chinese New Year when we visited. The Year Of The Monkey (which you can see LOTS OF PICTURES of here.) And there was a massive celebration going on. Think “The Festival Scene In Mulan.” So yes, there were dragon puppets and loud drums and fireworks. It was everything I wanted Chinatown to be. I almost don’t want to go back until there’s another reason for dragon puppets to be everywhere so that I can believe Chinatown is ALWAYS like that.

At each storefront, the dragon would stop if they had a paper charm hanging from the door way. 
The dragon would dance around & enter the store to bless it in the new year.
Then it would jump up and take the paper in its mouth (pretty impressive).
here’s an example!
Chieko-san
She is one of my dearest new friends in Japan & she has taken me under her wing to show me her country. So far we’ve been to an antique market in Tokyo:

 This lady’s face says it all as she leads the school band. 
#thatsideeyethough
 & the school band…
 & the school t-shirts…
WAIT A MINUTE.
That’s a US school.
Yes, there was a whole booth dedicated to USA t-shirts which were really just piles of old drama program t-shirts.
 These incredible pieces of art are actually home-shrines.
Made of wood, they looked like doll houses to me!

& This is the back of Chieko-san’s head as she shops for a tea tray. 
I know, I know.
We need a picture.
I’LL GET ONE, OK?

& these were my favourite things I saw there that day:
beautiful knobs for drawers, etc. 
#heartemoji

She recently took me & another friend, Ms. Judy, to a Hina Doll Exhibition in Tokyo.
It was fascinating to see the tradition passed down for three or four or seven HUNDRED years.
Hina dolls are bought or passed down as gifts for newborn baby girls.
They usually come in a set that includes an emperor, an empress, warriors, musicians, an old couple and occasionally some miniature household goods.
You can add any number of characters to this set if you have enough money…
They’re literally little dolls, but unfortunately, they’re not toys. 
They’re like good luck charms with each doll representing something the family hopes will come true for their daughter:
warriors- safety
musicians- joy
old couple- long marriage
We weren’t allowed to take any pictures inside the exhibition rooms, but the hotel it was housed in is quite famous in its own right because it has a “million dollar bathroom.”
That’s right. A bathroom renovation of $1,000,000.
So OF COURSE we visited it.

And I did snag one of this great display!
Those are all hand sewn dolls!

 That’s Ms. Judy in the red above.
(I swear, I’ll get a picture of all three of us)
& THERE WAS A BRIDGE OVER A CREEK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATHROOM.
 & #noshame I took a million dollar bathroom selfie…
 But then I found this one in my pictures from when we first moved here & I realised I can’t totally blame the bathroom selfie on the million dollar draw…
Sometimes, you just coordinate so well that you HAVE TO…
& next Chieko-san is having me & Ms. Judy over for a traditional tea ceremony TODAY.
I promise I will have a picture of the three of us (& all the tea ceremony things).
Skiiing
Oakie & I are what you call, people-who-ski/snowboard. NOT skiiers/snowboarders. There IS a difference.
However, there’s not a difference in how much fun you can have. We are PROFESSIONAL FUN-HAVERS.

I have an iMovie about it that I made myself…sooooooo…
To change it up, the pictures are in that! 

Enjoy!

An iMovie about us skiing at the Winter Olympic location in Japan!
I am exorbitantly proud of this video.
Hats off to all the people who do this for a living/a hobby that they think is fun.
whoa.

until next time,
love from japan

Strawberries, Sumo, & Castles in the Snow

Plus: otters, selfies, and funny texts from my friends.
BOY ARE YOU IN FOR A TREAT.
This is another photo-driven post, because they’re worth a thousand words & y’all would HATE MEEEEEE if I wrote all those words instead of just showing you the darn pictures.
So, for that, you are welcome.

First, the strawberries. 
There were at least 4 varieties in this massive green house, so even though it was cold outside, it was like a springtime strawberry field in that large plastic house. #somuchyum Also, it was all-you-can-eat NOT all-you-can-pick-and-take-home so there’s that small disappointment for the day…but also joy in the challenge to have a personal best in The Most Strawberries Eaten In One Sitting…which we did…duh.
                                                     
 And, yes, I posed his hands like that… 

 This green house was super hipster with all their upcylced seating arranged around a pot belly stove. 
That seat he’s on? Pulled out of a bus. 
#whatastud
 Why is he wearing different clothes you ask?
Well, it’s definitely not because we signed up for TWO ENTIRELY SEPARATE STRAWBERRY PICKING TRIPS BECAUSE WE ARE CRAAAAAZY ABOUT STRAWBERRIES.
So just don’t even ask that. 
JUST STOP WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS.
 As you can see, my hand is in this picture…and those strawberries are as long as my pointer finger. wut.
This is like one of those game pictures: 
Can you find the strawberry in this picture?
Oh Oakie is pointing at it?
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
He’s SUCH a cheater at games.
This adorable fluffy strawberry pin was a gift from a storekeeper who saw us wandering the streets looking for coffee (with me, this is a regular occurance…#allthecoffee). 
He had it pinned to his vest and now it’s hanging from our rearview mirror.
Like I said, WE ARE NOT STRAWBERRY FANATICS.

Next, the Sumo.
Here’s the thing about Sumo wrestling. Pictures DO NOT do it justice…like AT ALL. 
So there are videos too.
We watched about 60 matches and kept tabs of who chose the winning rakishi (wrestler) each time. 
I beat Oakie by 15 matches. I tell you, I am just FULL of the Holy Spirit.
Oh, and David & Hallie? These guys had NOTHIN’ on you two. #familydanceoff

This first video is an announcement of the players.
Get to know them because you will have NO IDEA WHO IS WHO once everything gets going.

                                                                //www.youtube.com/get_player

This next one is a good example of a quick fight.
Most of them were less than 10 seconds.
//www.youtube.com/get_player
And this last one is my favourite.
Oakie totally called that it would be one worth video-ing & it was the only one where somebody got flipped so…kudos to Oakie.
It’s a bit longer, but gives a rough idea of the ritual they went through before each fight (a.k.a. throwing salt into the ring; the higher the toss, the stronger the challenge)
#kitchentips
//www.youtube.com/get_player
This was by far some of the best, just plain fun we’ve had here.
Nothing like watching guys in thongs for a few hours to relax into your weekend.

And then the castles in the snow.
Because when you go tour the oldest standing castle in Japan, Matsomoto, it’s incredible; but when you go in the snow…its SNOW incredible. #georgiagirl 
(writing tip: any time you’re dealing with snow, just write about it using “snow” instead of “so” every time. People love that stuff.)

 OOOOH OOOOH here’s another game picture!
Can you spot me??
STOP SAYING, “HER GAMES ARE TOO EASY” IN YOUR MIND.
 BONUS: Ice sculptures.

Also, my husband is like SO dreamy…& photogenic…& generally eye-candy.

This man…I CANNOT EVEN.
I have a very slim file of “Acceptable Pictures To Use If We Need Couple Pictures.”
please pray for us.

And now a segment I call:
All The Stuff I Left Out Of My Other Blog Posts

like this video of a monkey riding another monkey from our day with the snow monkeys.
Or the fact that we went to an aquarium after strawberry picking one day & I got to see otters (no pictures waaahhhh), but my TICKET had an otter on it & I felt like I won a small lottery.
 And we saw a dolphin show with the Pacific Ocean in the background.
 And there was a seal riding a dolphin.
SO MANY ANIMALS PIGGY BACKING ON OTHER ANIMALS.
 GUYS. THEY’RE KISSING. dead.
 And a silhouette of a dolphing jumping that is 
EVERY SILHOUETTE OF A DOLPHIN JUMPING.
 And a school of fish that I just sat & watched for 30 minutes.
(why is it so fascinating?)

 And what about these high-fashion jellyfish?
#trendsetters
 See? 
I TOLD you he was photogenic.
#onlywhenheisnotlooking
And last, but not least:
Funny Texts From My Friends
Living in Japan has forced me to rely on text conversations for the majority of my keeping-in-touch. It’s not always the easiest to communicate, but it sure does get the job done. This rise in text frequency has resulted in a lot of laughter that it seemed only fair to share. iKatie is my sister, even though it ironically sounds like a robot name. Meghan is one of my best friends whom we lived next door to in Columbus. #100footjourney

P.S. I ONLY SAY OBVS IN TEXTS IRONICALLY.
so you can stop judging me now.
obvs.
Life in Japan is good.
Adventure is at the door and we NEVER turn away a guest.
If she comes for a visit, may I warn you she doesn’t always knock,
but she ALWAYS brings a hostess gift.

Snow. Monkeys.


Need I say more? 

What’s that you say?
This is a blog where I literally have to say more or it’s all over?
Well, in THAT case:

Y’all. We went to see snow monkeys. Macaques to be exactsssss… (oh, you would’ve made a better joke?? *cough* whatever *cough*…)

I could talk a lot about how cute they were or how they made me consider kidnapping the babies; about how doleful their little faces were (except for Mean Mug…you’ll meet him later); about how it was like a zoo except someone left the gate open and you snuck into the enclosure; about how Oakie TOUCHED TWO OF THEM AND I WAS SCARED FOR MY HIS LIFE; about how walking in the snow made me feel like a winter princess (which I’ve now decided should be called a Wintress because magic); about how I considered joining this tribe of primates whose whole life is eating & chilling in onsens (hot springs) & I strategised ways that they would accept me as one of their own; but I won’t spend an entire paragraph on all of that……………

I’l show you the pictures instead. 
First of all: This is what my house looked like a couple weeks back. 
I’ve NEVER lived anywhere with this much snow. 
#blessed
#takethatwhicheverwayyouwant
 Second of all: Here are all my artsy snow pictures.
humor me.

 Third of all: This is the walk we took to the monkeys. 
See what I mean about the Wintress thing??

I half expected to meet Mr. Tumnus while we were out & about.
It seemed just his sort of place…

 Also, don’t you kinda just wish you lived in this little place in the Japanese snow?
I know I sure do.
I daydreamed about it for a solid ten minutes.

OH. You’re just here for the snow monkeys so would I please just get to the point & leave you be in your monkey-lovin’ life?
Oh…oh yeah. Sure. 
My apologies for keeping you waiting.

And my personal favourite picture of the day: 
This completely unintentional action shot that I discovered when going through my pictures after the fact.
Aw guys, staaaahhhp. 
National Geographic is WAY out of my league.
 Doesn’t this just look like the most relaxing thing?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah….

 GUYS. THEY’RE KISSING. dead.

 I watched this little guy for quite a while as he groomed an older monkey.
He was so diligent & hardworking andohmygoshthatspikyhairrrrrrr.

 And monkey feet. 
If this picture doesn’t just make you happy…

 This was the one I would’ve kidnapped…
Look at that crooked little smirk.
#allthehearts

 And monkey butts are funny, I don’t care WHO you are…

 They were WERKIN’ that camera.
That guy got the footage of a lifetime.

 These are Oakie’s feet.
THAT’S HOW CLOSE THESE MONKEYS WERE TO US.

And if that doesn’t seem scary to you, check out ol’ Mean Mug.
But then you see these babies & you totally forget how scared Mean Mug made you…
 Don’t you want to wear your mom as a coat sometimes??

 And my final shot of the day, this handsome guy.
So pensive. 
So snow-freckled.

 And then there’s this picture in the guest house, because OF COURSE the monkeys aren’t playing with iPhones when YOU’RE taking pictures.
UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.
But also, awwwwwwwwww.

Meet me back here next week for a glimpse at the outta-this-world Japanese strawberries we got to pick & a summary of our first Sumo wrestling experience (that I’m personally calling Our Launch Into a Lifelong Love of Sumo Wrestling/New Hobby Day).

all the love from me & the monkeys.


Japan How-To

From the sound of the title this might be a fun instruction manual on how to get around Japan once you’re here, but that is actually not the case.
This is an object lesson on how to get to Japan so we can hang out.
If you’re reading this blog, rest assured, I want you to come visit meeeeeeeee. Yes, even you who just thought to yourself, “She doesn’t even know I read her blog because I NEVER like it or comment…I’m GHOSTING her blog for pete’s sake!”
Oh, but I do.
Even you, ghosty friend.
Come. Visit. Meeeeeee.
Now, we’ve probably all been on Facebook in the last, oh I don’t know, 5 minutes, so we’ve all seen something like this:
This is Caroline.
Caroline notices that it’s raining outside.
Caroline doesn’t post on Facebook about it because Caroline knows her friends have eyes.
Caroline is smart.
Be like Caroline.
May I submit to you that there is a WAY better, truer version of this that ALL Y’ALL need to listen to? It goes like this:
This is Karen.
Karen was in Tokyo, Japan for a show she was in.
Karen knew Caroline was also in Japan so she set up a date to see her.
Karen is awesome & kind.
Be like Karen.
This is a true story that I want all of you to take very seriously.
You could be thinking, “Yeah, but I don’t have a job that takes me to Japan…”
My suggestion? Buy a plane ticket to Japan and then name that plane “job”. You now have a “job” that takes you to Japan. BOOM. Thought you had me stumped, eh?
But for real, when we first got to Japan (I’m talking, still-living-in-the-hotel) my friend Karen Estrada messaged me on Facebook letting me know that she was touring Japan with a Disney show based in Tokyo–you may have heard of it…Beauty & The Beast?
Anyway, Karen & I have known each other since I was about…nine. So about 17 years. She was a teacher of mine in the beginning & then I had the pleasure of being her right-hand-gal for the summer she was the Director of the Springer Theatre Academy. You could say, “We go waaaaaaaay back” which I’ve always wanted to say in real life so…let’s say that.
She offered us tickets to her show and we set up a time to meet for breakfast. This happened to be Christmas morning since we were both away from family for Christmas for the first time ever.  She took us to a western styled eatery & I had a waffle with a MOUNTAIN of whipped cream on it. I could’ve hiked that thing. She got to meet Oakie & we chatted about life & Japan & life in Japan & it was the loveliest way to spend my first Christmas here.
The next day we got to see her “play an anthropomorphic tea pot” (her words) a.k.a. Mrs. Potts in the coolest stage version of Beauty & the Beast I’ve ever seen. There were 7 of them decked out in gorgeous evening wear backed by the Tokyo Symphony as they sang & danced through the classic Disney tale. And then we got backstage passes & I felt like a big winner on a radio contest.  It was their final performance & the love & devotion was evident onstage & off. It was one of my favourite performances I’ve had the privilege to be in the audience for.
And this is actually the 2nd time I’ve happened to meet someone on the other side of the world. When traveling in Italy back in 2012, a friend, Christi, was planning to be in Rome for a mission trip the same weekend my study abroad group was visiting, so we met up for lunch. 
We had pizza in a piazza in Rome. 
It was literal magic. 
I think there was glitter present.
These stories have served two purposes:
1. They warmed my heart & made me happy.
2. You now have 2 perfect examples of how to happen to be on the same “other side of the world” as me.
So do that thing.
But don’t wait till you happen to be in Japan. Just wait till you happen to have enough pennies to buy that plane ticket & name that plane. We’ve got a guest room ready. And if you bring friends, we also have a pull-out couch that I’ve slept on (for testing purposes only & definitely not because we fell asleep watching Seinfeld DVDs…). While driving, I recently found myself thinking about something OTHER than not crashing my car, so I can now say that I can confidently drive you around on the left side of the road. And have you tried sushi & liked it? Good news: They have that here. Plus also, I’ve cooked, like, three amazing meals in the past week so WE DEFINITELY HAVE THE FOOD THING COVERED. And the mountains are gorgeous & the strawberries are in season this time of year & you can see Mt. Fuji in person & JUST LIKE COME ON ALREADY.
Now do me a favour & interpret that in a totally cool, invitational, non-needy kind of way. K great.
Karen & Christi are smart.

Be like Karen & Christi.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.



Katie is, like, my funniest sister (sorry, but y’all know it’s true) & she sends me funny stuff all the time.
For example, here is a funny thing she sent me:
I’m not a bit  only slightly  just tell them that you’re TERRIBLY embarrassed to tell you how much I laughed at this…and still do every time I think about it…which is a LOT because I’m going through all 10 seasons right now. 
And lemme tell ya, it is not hard to figure out why this show was such a hit for so long and lives on in the hearts of fans via Netflix: 
They are living the dream. 
New York City.
High rise apartments.
Friends across the hall.
DOING LIFE TOGETHER.
It’s not always easy.
Maybe their job’s a joke, they’re broke, their love life’s DOA.
Maybe sometimes, it’s like they’re stuck in 2nd gear…when it hasn’t been their day, their week, their month, OR EVEN THEIR YEAR.
It will all be ok, because I’LL BE HERE FOR YOU (when the rain starts to fall)…ok, I’m done. I promise.
I mean, come on. Who doesn’t want this?? 
Only a heartless fool WITH NO HEART! Hence the term…heartless.

Friends are a God-given miracle wherein people who have absolutely NO obligation to spend time with you, DO…& they LIKE IT. & YOU like it. & you share life’s burdens & life’s joys & somehow the whole lot of it comes out more beautiful & fun & joyous than if they weren’t there.
Seriously, you should look into it.
10 out of 10.
I would recommend it to a friend.
Pun intended.
(disclaimer: I got this joke from Katie. I told you she was funny.)
Moving to Japan has provided some challenges, not the least of which was leaving the best group of friends I’ve had in my entire life. We were living the dream. 
Columbus, GA.
Cute, historic houses.
Friends next door & across the street & across the park.
DOING LIFE TOGETHER.
It wasn’t always easy.
Maybe our job’s a joke, JK. I won’t go through the song again…I trust you to do that on your own time. In fact, here’s the video if you need a reference.
BONUS: There are more words to this song. You’re welcome.
It was the sweetest season for friendship, outside of the formative years of sibling love, that I’ve experienced to date.
Enter ARMY. & MOVING. & GOING AWAY PARTIES. & GOODBYES.
Yes that is dessert sushi that Meghan made all by herself.
And those decorations? Yeah, all Kate.


And these pictures? All Geoff.

These friends y’all. These F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Facetime works wonders & let me tell you, when Meghan & I discovered the verbal text option on iPhones (ok fine, it was Oakie), our virtual relationship reached the next level…but it’s just not the same.
& that’s hard for me.
I’m friend-spoiled & now I’m friend-starved & a little part of my heart stamps its foot at the injustice of it all.

BUT GOD. It doesn’t matter what comes before those words, because what comes after will always change everything.

This is a consistent fear of mine: That we’ll move somewhere & somehow manage to live there for an extended period of time ALL ALONE because we can’t find any friends
& NO ONE likes us
& we cry over delicious dinners at a table set for 6 when there are only two…
As I type this, I’m smirking at how silly it sounds, but when you’ve moved 7 times in the past 3 years, rational thinking doesn’t always make it back out of the moving boxes.
Honestly, I should know better.
When we showed up in Louisiana, we jumped into a church there & walked out with FRIENDS. Like, dinner-at-their-house-every-Sunday-night friends.
When we showed up in Columbus, we already knew people (duh), but we walked out with even more FRIENDS. Like, Hitchcock-marathon-up-till-4am, share-a-backyard friends.
I prayed before I left & prayed when I got here & then prayed some more that God would send friends.
Board-game-playing, dinner-sharing, (preferably) wine-drinking friends (no offense to the non-wine drinkers, of whom my husband numbers foremost & I married him, so obviously, I love you all…).

When we showed up in Japan, we were immediately embraced by our neighbours who invited us (PERFECT STRANGERS) over to their house for Thanksgiving & have continued to show us love & kindness up to & including Lauren reaching out to make sure I was personally invited to join the women’s Bible study on Camp Zama which has proved to be a huge source of encouragement to me.

I tell ya, when God wants to come through for me, He goes big.

We had begun attending a church when we first moved here & we loved spending our Sunday afternoon/evening meeting with other believers both foreign & local. But we travel a lot on the weekends to see stuff & I worried that we were damaging our chances at really getting to know people & build relationships.
In the course of 2 days, we had shared two meals with people from our church (Ramon’s family being one) & three young people we’d just met the week before: Akiko, Jesse & Donnie (if you guys are reading this, first of all, glad to see you at my blog & second of all, hey! you made the blog!)
These may all be new, fledgling friendships, but they hold the promise of hope.
New places are scary.
I’d be lying if the brave face of loving Japan withheld the truth of struggling through a huge transition, but friends? F.R.I.E.N.D.S. make this whole adventure a whole lot easier.
If you read this & thought, “Man. Friends sound super cool. I don’t have a whole lot of those & the ones I do have I never really see anymore.”
I’ve got super good news.
Stop what you’re doing & locate your phone.
If it’s in your hand, feel free to give me some feedback on how the mobile-version of this reads…
ANYWAY, once you find your phone find the contact info of someone you’re friends with or want to be friends with (c’mon, we’ve all got friend crushes. You know the ones where you’re like, “aw man, it’d be so cool to be their friend, but they’d never like meeeeee.”) & CALL THEM…OR TEXT THEM…OR SEND THEM A FACEBOOK MESSAGE.
Invite them to yo house.
And cook them some food.
And pour them some wine.
Play a game!
Have a list of 10 questions ready so you can get to know them better.
JUST DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.
If you click or connect & have fun then DO ALL OF THE THINGS OVER & OVER AGAIN.
If you don’t, chalk it up to experience & have another go with a different (potential) friend.
It’s that easy.

And if you’re reading this friendship tutorial & rolling your eyes, it’s obviously because you are already good at this & should feel very blessed & should maybe even consider inviting a loner to join your group.
We all need friends.
We all need f.r.i.e.n.d.s.
Have a friend.
Be a friend.
I give it a 10 out of 10.

P.S. As evidenced by Ross & Monica, family are friends too. So to all my family who just read this & felt slighted…you can stop that now.